Hearts WERE meant to break!

I have always been afraid of tradgedy. Hidden from it, even. I have never been a risk taker. I never wanted to be friends with or married to someone in the military.:) I have been intimidated by elderly people and I really hate hospitals. I don't think I am much different than many people. We condition ourselves to seek the happy, the easy. We don't like to be faced with sadness, death, illness,the depressed, heartbreak... I looked up sayings about broken hearts. This is how we operate:
"Don't Cry Over Someone That Won't Cry Over You."
"Forget who hurt you yesterday."
"skinned knees are easier to fix then broken hearts."
"If someone you love breaks your heart, cry a river,build a bridge,and get over it.
"How can I love again when I can't stop loving the one that hurt me so much?"

Days ago, a dear friend suffered a heartbreaking tradgedy. This person is someone who has been so special to me for several years now. She has taught me faithfulness, honesty, strength, dignity, trust, everything it is to be a daughter of God. She has been my confidante and more of a sister than a mere friend. I have often pondered the connection we have, especially considering our timid beginnings, and have never fully been able to grasp the goodness of God in placing her in my life.
So, when she called me to tell me her news, I not only felt sad for her but grieved with her. I am still. I seem to be feeling many of the same emotions that I felt when my mom passed away. Confusion,heartbreak, dismay, and some anger. Instead of feeling like I am watching her go through this, I am right in the middle of it with her. And I can't understand why her? Someone who has been such an inspiration to me and deserves all the best life has to offer? And then I think that she is the perfect person. She is strong enough to weather this, brave enough to trust in God's plan, unfailing in her love of God. She is exactly who He would choose, of course.
In all of this, I am realizing that hearts ARE meant to break. As much as we like to think that we are strong and independant, we are built fragile. I think we are made to experience weakness and it is a good thing, a beautiful and holy thing! There is HOPE in weakness, beauty in the broken! We are closest to Christ when we are weak, humiliated, down to our last defense, broken. This is when He can truly reveal Himself to us. This is when He really gets to show us just how much He loves us, how strong He is, how much we really NEED Him, how faithful He is, and how patient!
None of this is new about God. He shows us His love in a million ways but what better time could there be than when you have nothing left and are in need of comfort, support, and love?

Just thinking...

Today, (now a few Sundays ago...) I sat in the the last pew in the back corner of the Church. I didn't feel like sitting in front where I usually sit. As I sat in that last pew, I started noticing all the stuff that goes on back there. People came and went as they pleased. Parents held full on conversations with their screaming children, played games with them, ate food with them. A grown man was reading and flipping through the pages of his misslet during the Consecration as though he would rather be anywhere else. A woman decided to clean out her purse. Teenagers wandered in late, clad in ripped up shorts and hole ridden t-shirts....
And as I let myself ponder all the goings on, my thoughts came to a screeching halt. What was I doing!? As I sat around judging everyone else, I realized I was just as distracted as they were! And I had purposely placed myself there! Here, at the front of the church, a literal miracle is happening and I am as far away as I could get, thinking about WHATEVER!
And then I got to thinking how many times I place myself in these situations where I get distracted from what God is really doing. No one made me sit at the back where I couldn't see or hear or concentrate. I made that choice to place myself where I couldn't see Him or listen to what He was saying. It gives me some perspective as I go off to work or to hang out with friends and am just at home. What are my distractions and how can I better place myself closer to the "front" where I can really listen and see? Hmmmm...just a thought....