Several days ago, I had a dream that I was interviewing with the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity. My interview was interrupted and placed on hold indefinitely. As I waited to complete this interview, I saw several other applicants being accepted left and right. I didn't know what was going on, why I wasn't invited. That seemed to be the theme of this dream. Invitation. And I wasn't getting one. No one seemed to have a good reason, just that I didn't fit. I was inadequate somehow. And so I waited. And waited... racking my brain and desperately trying to figure out the anomaly of my person. Then I woke up.
A week ago, I received my official transcripts from the University of Arkansas. They just so happened to be the last piece of my application to enter into postulancy with the sisters. I panicked. I had flown through the rest of the application, not giving myself time to overthink things as I usually do. One may wonder if I went to fast, didn't put enough thought into this process, didn't think about it at all. But let me assure you, I have done nothing...literally nothing... but think and think some more about the whys and hows of this whole thing. And so there I was, holding the last fragment of a puzzle I have been trying to put together for what seems like forever. And I faltered. I wasn't sure, all of a sudden, if I was crazy and if I really wanted to do this. I was having reservations. But there's no sense in leaving a job half done. I sent it in. And waited.
One day ago, I was accepted into postulancy with the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity. I am overwhelmed. I am excited and speechless! Jesus wants me! He has pursued me and continues to do so. He desires my heart. And I am at peace. I have received my invitation. And I will take it. Once again, I am not sure where this leads. I know that I will have other moments of pause and reservation. I will fight with my insecurities and my wants. But, yes, I will go. I am honored to accept His Invitation...
Reservation for two, please.
Thanking God tonight for your maturity in the Faith, and for the joy of His call to you that you are answering. Blessings to you - and plenty of good old-fashioned luck!
ReplyDeleteOh rose. :)
ReplyDeleteI just thought you should know that it makes me really happy to read your blogs. I am still so excited for you & for the things God has in store for you. Keep accepting the invitation, because I know it's going to change your life.
That reminds me of a song.. it's called "How deep" by david thies. (you should totally look him up on itunes) anyways.. part of the song says..
"And it seems what's inside, is not a lie, but it's real and it's changing my life.."
I read song of songs 7:10 earlier and thought of you.
miss you,
lindsey